I’ve discovered that I am oobleck. What is oobleck, you ask? For those of you who haven’t hung around a young child or a chemistry class recently, oobleck is a non-Newtonian fluid — it acts like a solid under pressure and a liquid otherwise. If you push on it, oobleck hardens up. Without pressure, it drips right through your fingers…

Based on my COVID experiences, I can relate to the properties of a non-Newtonian fluid, because that describes my work experiences pretty well: solid under pressure and otherwise…kind of squishy. Curious minds can learn more about oobleck here.

When COVID started back in March (or whatever year/millennium that was), my boss said to me: “I think we better get a team on this to start thinking about it.” Ahh, how innocent those words were. We pulled together a few people, and I was in charge of driving our direction. After a few short days/weeks, we quickly realized that this wasn’t your traditional task force. Things were changing fast — and we were going to have to stay on top of all that change to be successful.

We set up daily meetings, a shared workspace, and started gathering our resources (see my post on 5 Tips for Leading in Times of Crisis). Beyond the work, something else stood out to me on a personal level: I was ON. People talk about the idea of flow or runner’s high. Despite the devastating topic we were discussing and the fear and anguish it brought to so many in our community; from a work standpoint, I was euphoric.

Now, I realize this sounds completely crazy. 15 zoom meetings a day. Sitting in my home office for hours and hours while my family existed around me. Knowing that the only consistent was change and ambiguity. BUT, I tell you, I did some of the best work and got some of the most positive feedback during this time.

Why? Because, I am oobleck. When I am under pressure, I am solid as a rock. My confidence goes through the roof, I am decisive, and time does that thing (in a positive way) where it goes by so fast.

Is this a new phenomenon? How do I know I’m oobleck?

This is not the first time in my life I’ve noticed this about myself. Whether it was the 18/100 I got on an exam during my chemical engineering days (despite doing quite well in most of my other classes), the tight timelines and extremely high expectations of a top-tier management consulting firm, or even the pressure of those oh-so-prevalent timed math tests we all did as a kid; I PERFORM when the pressure is high. And, when it’s not, well…let’s just say I’m not at my best.

I’ve often wondered why this is but have resigned myself to the fact that it’s just who I am. In fact, my mother often tells the story of how my kindergarten teacher told my parents in their first parent-teacher conference that they needed to stop putting so much pressure on me. Their answer? It’s not us. It’s her.

So, I’ve given up on the why and thought a bit more about how this manifests in my life. As a young kindergartner, I liked the feeling of being in “flow,” of a little pressure that led to a “high” that I really liked. Perhaps those high school math teachers — who always put me on the spot by making me write a difficult proof on the board or grading my test while I was sitting right in front of them — knew that I would rise to the challenge. I guess my mentors in the corporate sector were on to something when they gave me more responsibility or a seemingly-impossible assignment, relative to my level in the organization.

As with many things, COVID has upped my self-awareness and reminded me of this fact of my life. Not only was I in charge of our initial COVID response team, but I also ended up driving our summer efforts (which were quite successful), and being the founding director of a new program called the Hope Corps, which brought together students in need of paid job experiences with folks in our community impacted by the pandemic (read more about Hope Corps in the news here).

Is this healthy?

Some would say (and, in fact, have told me) that they think this is an unhealthy view of things, that this level of pressure and challenge is others taking advantage of me; that it causes undue stress. And, certainly, it can and has taken that turn at times in my life when I haven’t set healthy boundaries or walked into a challenge without my eyes wide open. But, we are all unique, and self-awareness is important. Not everyone acts like a non-Newtonian fluid and turns solid under pressure. Not everyone is oobleck — and even I’m not oobleck all the time.

Here’s an example: my husband ran a 50K trail race this year. For him, this was a welcome challenge, one he trained for, and one that came with that euphoric runner’s high. Me? I’ve never run more than a 5K — and only with the promise of some fun music, color-filled clothing, or ice cream as a reward. If I challenged myself to run a marathon, that would not give me a feeling of flow. I know that.

So, what does this mean for future?

I’ve found such joy — yes, joy — in meaningful challenges in life that bring me learning, growth, and/or the opportunity to help others. THESE are the right times to put pressure on myself and to have my oobleck properties shine.

Are you oobleck? When? Drop me a line to share your story.